What would you do if at some point you realize you have no idea what you’re doing with life?
I’m sure many of you are at this point right now. You don’t know what you’re doing in your personal and professional life. You don’t have a single clue about your next move and you feel you are stuck in life.
Maybe because you’re seeing people on social media doing well and here you are, doing nothing and earning nothing.
Maybe because you want to do many things, but don’t know where to start.
Maybe you are always looking at the dark side of life, being pessimistic and taking yourself too seriously.
Maybe you are jobless, broke and not being to help yourself and your family financially.
Maybe you feel you are already 25 (or your age), and you haven’t accomplished anything yet.
So many maybes, all because you are doubting yourself. Yes, you read that right. You are self-doubting a lot. I can say this because I was the person who self-doubted a lot. In fact, I still do sometimes, but I try not to.
Most often, the feeling of not knowing what you’re doing with life is a result of negative thoughts building inside your head. The more you dwell on the thought, the more uncertain and anxious you will feel about your future. These are transient confusion we all face when we have no vision of what we want to do with our lives. But the good news is we all go through these moments where we do not understand what is going on, and the truth is, I don’t think anyone has it all figured out.
If nobody has told you this, let me be the first one to tell you that the ideas like ‘purpose of life’ is all self-made fabrication, which often becomes the greatest hindrance of our growth and happiness. You first create a goal and then you feel frustrated because you fail to achieve it? You first believe that ideals set by other people and then make your life miserable chasing those ideals? You will eventually find the so-called ‘purpose of life’ when you get to involve yourself in something and keep doing that thing.
Most of the time you are living in your head. You are making things up which hasn’t even happened yet and worrying about it. You’re doubting yourself and thinking negative. You are creating your own dark clouds over your head. But let me remind you, the mind is more powerful than you think it is. Our mind can transform those thoughts into a reality. It is the law of attraction. What if you are in this situation right now because you were thinking exactly the same, some time ago? Start thinking positively no matter how hard the situation is and stop taking yourself too seriously. Stop feeling burdensome about the responsibilities you have and keep moving forward. Take pressure in a positive way.
Own up to everything you have done, face the consequences and see it as an experience.
Do you have regrets? Have you failed? Are you in a difficult situation?
Can you do anything about it?
Yes? Then do it.
What can you do?
Change the way you think, accept it, be a better person going forward every day in your life.
Remember, you’re a human, you’re not perfect and you’re allowed to make mistakes.
Just don’t give up. Don’t ever lose hope. Be a little courageous for yourself, love yourself, think positively no matter what, and most important, believe in yourself.
Think positively, believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable.
First, I would like to thank you all for loving my last blog titled – There’s more to life than what you think. I really appreciate your encouragement to write more about life. So here goes the second one.
What is life? I feel that life is the composition of ups and downs, highs and lows, successes and failures, happiness and sadness and so on. No wonder our heartbeat looks like this on a monitor.
It clearly portrays the philosophy of life. If that line was straight, we would be dead. Life is in fact mixture of failure and success. If you just try to recall what you did today, you will realize that it contained failure and success too. For example, you failed to catch the bus to work, you failed to remember the birthday of someone special and forgot to wish them, you failed the interview and got rejected, etc. These are few examples of failures that we encounter in our everyday life. Now to turn the entire scenario into success story; you managed to get a nice window seat on the bus, you succeeded in throwing a nice surprise birthday party to your loved one and made them feel special, you successfully got accepted for the new job, etc.
Failure and success is a part of life. It goes hand in hand. Everyone fails in life at one point or another. I am not being pessimistic but that is how life usually works. Failure is a reminder that you are a human. Humans fail. It’s normal to fail.
“It’s not how many times you succeed that counts. It’s not how many times you fail that counts. It’s how many times you fail and get back up that counts.”
The problem is most people associate failure with complete defeat. I can understand because I’ve failed countless times over. But through those failures, I learned some very important lessons. I realized that failures and rejections are equally important as success. I also realized that some of the most famous people to have ever lived had failed the most times.
Today, I would never take my failures back because it has shaped me to become who I am today, and I am pretty sure that the most successful people in the world wouldn’t do so either. I’ve grown stronger through those experiences. I know that failure and rejection hurt at the time, but it’s part of life’s design. When we fail, we learn. We grow and mature, achieving new understandings and perspectives on life, love, business, money, relationships, and people. Failure and rejection are there to make us stronger. Trust me, God would never give the pain if we cannot handle it.
“Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds you down or polishes you up depends on what you’re made of.”
Below I’ve compiled failure and rejections of some great personalities and how they overcame and got back in life.
This guy was rejected and eventually fired from the company that he had created.
His response: “Sometimes life is going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith” – Steve Jobs
This writer was jobless, penniless, divorced, had a dependent child and was rejected by about 12 different publishers. One of them told her “you should not quit your day job”.
Her response: “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all- in which case, you fail by default.” – J.K Rowling
This Director was rejected by the University of Southern California School of Theater, Film and Television. Thrice.
His response: “Failure is inevitable, success is elusive.” – Steven Spielberg.
This painter’s paintings were rejected throughout his lifetime, with only one sold.
His response: “If you hear a voice within you say, ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Gogh.
This guy was fired from a local newspaper because they thought that he lacked imagination and had no good ideas. Started many businesses that didn’t last too long and ended with bankruptcy and failure.
His response: “Everyone falls. Getting up is how you learn to walk.” – Walt Disney
This lawyer was defeated for political office 7 times. His fiancé died. He failed in business. And he suffered nervous breakdown before becoming the President.
His response: “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” – Abraham Lincoln
This man failed to get a job even after trying 30 times, was the only one rejected by KFC out of the 24 interviewees, failed twice during his school days, thrice during his university, applied 10 times for Harvard but rejected, allegedly started two business ventures but failed in both.
His response: “If you don’t give up, you still have a chance. Giving up is the greatest failure.” – Jack Ma
We all face rejections. It is your response to those rejections and failures that helps to grow and strengthen you from those experience. One more rejection is just another incentive to look back at your mistakes, pull yourself together and give it more than what you had given before, and keep going until you get what you had aimed for.
I would like to conclude this blog with a very famous dialogue from the movie “Rocky”.
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that.”
– Rocky Balboa
Have you ever felt that life was so much easier and relaxed till the intermediate (+2) days? Life was still like normal school days but once it’s over, something changes. You are part of the race now. Confused and stressed as to which field to choose for bachelors; asking for suggestions and searching for the scope, getting oneself enrolled in various institutions with the hope of cracking MBBS and engineering admissions and even preparing for abroad study. This is just the trailer. After you choose a field and get admitted to a college, you are not sure if you have taken the right decision of choosing that particular field and that particular career and life for yourself. Thoughts might creep in: “I shouldn’t have chosen this field, I absolutely have no interest now”, “I should have been brave enough to tell my parents about my dream and bold enough to convince them to pursue that field”, “It’s too late now, my parents have invested so much in me, and I cannot let them down”. Well, these are just examples, but the mental stress and dilemma one goes through is many. You then realize that you are lacking the motivation to study and fail the exam. You have no guts to tell your parents about it because you have never failed in an exam before. You somehow manage to complete your degree, that’s when the real-life race begins. You now enter into the real world. You are expected to join a company as an intern or a fresh graduate and get yourself a job.
Do you know someone who has gone through this phase? What about you?
This 20s to 30s age is really confusing and frustrating. You are young and inexperienced. You are just beginning your career and learning to adapt to the real scary world while you see your friends getting married and going abroad. This is not only mine or your story, but it’s universal. Every person in this world goes through this phase of life. Not only you or I, but every single person is confused about his or her life. No one has any idea what he/she should do next. Very few people have his goal figured out early in life. And trust me, that number is very less.
I am not writing this to scare you or tell you that life is very confusing and all but, I want to tell you that life is not all about these things. Life is not a race. Life is not all about the grades, accolades, title, money or fame. Life is simple and beautiful. This life was given to us as a gift by the god. He only wants us to be happy. You are not supposed to do what others are doing. You are not supposed to be like someone else. You are not supposed to follow the herd. You are different, and that’s what unique about you and sets you apart from others. You are supposed to understand yourself and discover the unlimited power within you.
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”
– Jim Carrey
Your life is inside your head. What you think, you become. What’s the use of working so hard if you are not happy? What’s the use of your degree, your title, your money or your fame if you are not content with yourself? Why do you take life so seriously?
Well, let me take a moment and tell you that IT’S OKAY. It’s completely fine. You failed your exam? It’s ok! You couldn’t start your diet you’d been planning on for months and ate that cake again? It’s ok! You let down your parents for not living up to their expectations? It’s ok! You aren’t successful in running your business and you failed? It’s ok. You couldn’t quit smoking today? It’s ok! You did that thing one more time you were trying to give up? It’s ok. Everything is going to be alright.
Life is full of ups and downs, tries and failures, happiness and sadness. If you failed today, it doesn’t mean that your life is over. Failing is the first step towards success; it’s an experience. If Thomas Edison had given up on his 1000th attempt to invent the light bulb, we would still be living in darkness.
Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” “Great success is built on failure, frustration, even catastrophe.”
Go and search for any biographies or watch any documentaries of great humans who’d ever existed. You will not find a single great person with an easy past. You do not fail until you give up.
So, my friend, it’s okay if you are not doing well at this point in time. The good thing about time is that it changes. So don’t overthink and create problems that weren’t there in the first place. Spend quality time with your parents, and if possible, talk to them and spend as much time as possible with them. Talk to your friends. Go out and have dinner. If you had always wanted to do something, go for it. You always wanted to go and do a bungee jump? Go for it. You always wanted to sing a song in front of a mass? Do it. You always wanted to tell your parents how much you loved them? Tell them. Life is made of such small moments which eventually becomes big moments when you look back at them years from now.
Don’t rush your life. Not everyone’s life is same, and not their time as well. Don’t get upset by comparing your life to someone else’s. You don’t have any idea what they have been through. So take a deep breath and try it one more time. You don’t have any idea what is stored for you in the future. Believe in yourself and do things that will make you happy. When you look back on your death bed, you will only see those moments and experiences. So make it worth it.
Remember, life is not a race and you’re not here to win in anybody else’s race. You are here to live your own life. You are here to be happy and share happiness. You are here to do what you love to do. Don’t worry! Work hard and live a tension free life. Plan things better but live in the present. Life will itself unfold its plans for you. You just need to have faith, patience, and dedication.
I wish you nothing but happiness. Cheers to life!